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Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Does This Make My Butt Look Bodacious?

Way back before there were magazines for women's fitness like Prevention or Women's Health, the only good resource for workout tips I looked to was (shockingly enough) Men's Health. Of course, never being the hardcore gym fiend that I always hoped to be, those tips on how to get six-pack abs were never really put to use. Maybe if I ate rare T-bone steaks and tree bark for every meal, I would look like the female Incredible Hulk the fitness industry wants women to be, but I do love the carbs, as I'm sure all of you do, too. So, in my Great Quest to Get Fit these past six months, I've fallen into a work-out rut, despite all those nights of giggling over Dad's back issues of Men's Health (their "Ask the Girl Next Door" column is actually genius).

Luckily, the fitness industry makes beaucoup bucks off of hopeless women like me who don't lose pounds, despite working out until their lungs collapse day in and day out. I fell into the trap of women's magazine advice a few weeks ago and tried out a "Functional Strength on the BOSU" class at my local gym, and sweet baby Jesus, it was like HELL. HELL, ON WHEELS. (Wheels that are bouncy, made of rubber, and with aerobics instructors who make you jump up and down in the least fun way.) There is something to be said about staying in your comfort zone when at the gym.

Magazines like Prevention sell to women with families and jobs and things that I don't have (houses, free time, etc. etc.), so although their advice is quite good and interesting reading come treadmill time, it's hard to relate to. It's always "your husband" this or "making gluten-free cupcakes for your kid's fourth-grade class" that, tidbits that I'll probably need eventually, but give me the "10-minute fat-ass-blasting workout for sedentary students" any day and I will gladly try it. This article on how and why men lose weight faster than women caught my eye on Yahoo!. You see, I have a brother who, like me, grew up with a mother whose idea of an after-school treat was Tofu Surprise and shredded carrots. In a ridiculous twist of fate, we both ended up as slightly blubbery young adults--he lost thirty pounds in a matter of months after his wedding, while I have gained and maintained a good twenty pounds since then (thanks a lot, college). What's a girl to do?

Back to the elliptical for me tomorrow, I guess. Maybe a jog down by the beach?

Image from answers.com.


Kati said...

I signed up for sparkpeople.com a couple of months ago- totally free, and I love it. It's been more helpful for my beer belly removal than any of the fitness magazines I enjoy reading on the elliptical.

Also, if you do not do pilates already, it is excellent for abs. I have maintained the fantastic four pack from my body sculpting class with bootcamp sorority barbie with a minimum of effort (pilates beginning mat workout with ana caban twice a week, although I think I'm about ready to track down the intermediate mat workout dvd.) I love it, and it's a nice change/day off from endless cardio.

Karen said...

I've heard good things about sparkpeople.com, I'll check it out. Oh, those bootcamp sorority barbies just make me want to scream--stop bouncing and yelling at me, you skinny minnies! My body is already tearing itself apart in this aerobics class, I don't need verbal abuse on top! I've tried Pilates in classes but it's SO. HARD. The beginners' DVD is a good idea.

I just started this quickie yoga workout for those days I can't get to the gym, don't want to jog, and really just want to sit around and watch TV. It's an excellent strength session during commercial breaks. Thanks for the tip, Kati!!

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