Clubbing: A Conundrum

You guys, I have a problem. I run into it about twice a year--it dogs me, really. I do not and cannot, for the life of me, dress to "go out." I can dress for dinner, for weddings, graduations, the ballet, those life events that require fancy dress, but if you want to go out dancing, I am absolutely stumped. My friend Elena proposed that we all go out dancing at a club in San Francisco at the top of a skyscraper soon, and the minute I got home, I realized I have nothing to wear. NOTHING. I am a nice, homebody type of girl who does enjoy a bit of dancing or a night out on the town once in a while, but I am inevitably over-dressed for the occasion. I just don't go clubbing, and when I see other young women out in their club-wear, I think, "I couldn't possibly wear that!" Once again, I find myself desperately and dejectedly searching my closet, as I am sure many women have in my situation (in romantic comedies as in life).

So, in the absence of a complete wardrobe overhaul, I set out to find the tenets of going-out-wear. I'd hate to have to buy something I felt awkward or uncomfortable in to just wear for one night out. I am not crafty enough to pull a nice shirt out of my closet and mangle it into a clubbing-appropriate hoochie blouse. My self respect and body confidence level do not lend themselves to a night full of chocha-baring hooliganery. Thus, I have taken to Polyvore for inspiration.

As a girl who spent the better part of every weekend in college either on the radio reporting on shows or at indie rock shows in Boston, my first going-out-outfit love will always be of the rock'n'roll variety:
From the left, we have a rather twee and adorable sailorette ensemble with button-a-riffic shorts (it gets hot in clubs, plus if anything, I have excellent gams that need to get out and breathe once in a while), a completely non-ironic and comfy hardcore tee, retro patent wedges, and a knit hat to keep the dancing- and sweat-induced frizzies in check. I love this look and I would wear it if I were still in "the scene." My scene nowadays is at work, at the library, at the farmer's market, at a restaurant, or reading a book in a coffeeshop. Do you see how unprepared I am for dancing at the top of a skyscraper? I will freely admit that my goal is to go out looking like Enid, from Ghost World:
The middle outfit is your casual, just rolled out of bed hipster look, with the lighter wash skinny jean, the admittedly awesome polka-dot low-tops, and the feather motif tee with matching earrings. A keffiyeh scarf added to this would bring maximum silly-hipster points. The third outfit on the right is what I might wear to a hip-hop night in a movie about a girl from the wrong side of the tracks winning a dance/DJing competition in the big city. Seriously, Nora Ephron AND Karen Patch should hire me to be their proteges, look at that, with the saucy hat and the self-referential headphones on the shirt. You could bust a move in that!

Getting back to reality, here is what I will/could probably wear, out of my own closet:
As you can see, I have ONE short skirt that is about mid-thigh. I can sit in it comfortably, it's slightly high-waisted so my bum isn't hanging out everywhere (life's goal: achieved), and looks great with opaque tights. The skirt is in. The blouse is a problem. Do I go with the regular ol' ribbed tank top, embellished with flower and lace brooch and string of fake black pearls? Will I feel too bare? The shoes are an issue as well--how often do you see young ladies out for a night of dancing in painful, foot-wrenching, bunion-giving, ankle-breaking impossible shoes? The very thought it of make my toes clench up in fear. I have two pairs I am considering. My new pair of Chie Mihara Saco pumps in brown/gray/black--the pair shown here are an alternate colorway. (Check out the selections on sale at Tani NYC, so lovely!!) Or, the pair of silly little-girl-ish metallic gold t-strap Mary Janes I picked up for $10 at TJ Maxx last week. The perennial debate over the walking VS dancing, not to mention driving, capabilities of women's shoes continues.

In the end, I know for a fact that I will be cold out there, waltzing out of a skyscraper nightclub, so over it all goes a long trench. The hat is optional. Seriously now, I am still somewhat confused--what do nerdy girls with work-appropriate wardrobes wear for a night out?


Images from Polyvore.com and Allmoviephotos.com